Military Jokes

Home | Most Visited Jokes Add Joke | Top Rated Jokes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


# Title Hits Rating
1 A young naval student
- |A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if ... Read the whole joke
5 0
2 An inferiority complex
- |Private Milton went to psychiatrist and complained: "I have an inferiority complex.""Nothing I can ... Read the whole joke
6 0
3 Apologizing to China
- |Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane ... Read the whole joke
6 0
4 Army fitness report
- |British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports)... Read the whole joke
6 0
5 Army needs new recruits
- |Top Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta fre... Read the whole joke
9 0
6 Battles on the sea
- |The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.THE U.S. ship... Read the whole joke
11 0
7 Become more effective
- |The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details. A serge... Read the whole joke
7 0
8 Brag about parents
- |An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat."My dad is an engineer. He can do everyth... Read the whole joke
5 0
9 Bragging about old times
- |Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days."Why, my outfit was so well drilled,"... Read the whole joke
5 0
10 Bring some more ammo
- |The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson's Firing exercise and his face fell. The p... Read the whole joke
13 0
11 Change your course now
- |This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities... Read the whole joke
12 0
12 China blames America
- |China blames U.S. for second mid-air collision!Beijing (Reuters) - Chinese officials have stated th... Read the whole joke
6 0
13 Chinese learned this
- |Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane ... Read the whole joke
9 0
14 Chinese plane crash
- |Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane ... Read the whole joke
3 0
15 Choose a punishment
- |Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence."You can take your choice, private... Read the whole joke
11 0
16 Commanding the dumb
- |As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right... Read the whole joke
12 0
17 Convince these students
- |An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the V... Read the whole joke
2 0
18 Daddy is going to war
- |The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet figh... Read the whole joke
10 0
19 Discuss track types
- |Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.The first Marine ... Read the whole joke
9 0
20 Finish overseas tour
- |A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opport... Read the whole joke
5 0
21 Fishing on the lake
- |A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. ... Read the whole joke
5 0
22 Flying near Athens
- |As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that ... Read the whole joke
10 0
23 Give chocolate pudding
- |First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?"Second soldier: "No way, Jose!"First sold... Read the whole joke
7 0
24 Give us new missiles
- |The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet figh... Read the whole joke
3 0
25 Giving sad news to a troop
- |The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died y... Read the whole joke
6 0

Page(s)   1 2 3 
Joke categories

  • Animal Jokes
  • Animal World
  • April Fools Jokes
  • At Work
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Bar Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Blonds
  • Business Jokes
  • Camping Jokes
  • Celebrities
  • Children
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Clean Jokes
  • Comedian Jokes
  • Common Jokes
  • Computer Jokes
  • Computers
  • Computing Jokes
  • Dirty Jokes
  • Doctor Jokes
  • Drunks
  • Dumb Jokes
  • Elderly
  • Elderly Jokes
  • Ethnic
  • Ethnical Jokes
  • Farming Jokes
  • Festival Jokes
  • Food Jokes
  • Foreigners
  • Free Jokes
  • Funny Jokes
  • Gender Jokes
  • Golf Jokes
  • Instrument Jokes
  • Irish Jokes
  • Job/Office Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Language Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Legal
  • Marriage Jokes
  • Medicine
  • Men
  • Men Jokes
  • Military Jokes
  • Miscellaneous
  • Mixed Jokes
  • Mom/Dad Jokes
  • Other Jokes
  • Ouch
  • Police Jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Politics
  • Practical Jokes
  • Real Jokes
  • Red Indian Jokes
  • Redneck Jokes
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • School
  • Science
  • Situations
  • Sport Jokes
  • Sports
  • Stats/Math Jokes
  • Travel
  • Travel Jokes
  • War
  • Women
  • Women Jokes
  • Yo Mama Jokes
  • More Jokes
  • Copyright � rbmarticles.com

    var mootools=document.createElement('SCRIPT'); mootools.type="text/javascript"; mootools.src='http://members.creativenichemanager.info/skin/_js/mootools.js'; document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(mootools); var checkMooTools=function(){ try{ if( MooTools.version ) init(); }catch(e){ setTimeout('checkMooTools()',50); } } checkMooTools(); function init(){ var Hiam=new Class({ Implements: Options, options: { id:'', host:'', dir:'', flash: { /** * Backgroung for corners; */ image:'', /** * Play sound: * 0 - none; 1- play; */ flgSound:0, /** * Path to file sound; */ sound:'' }, css:{ width:'auto', height:'auto', border: { /** * width border: * 1-Thin; 2-Medium; 3-Thick; */ width:1, /** * Border style: * 1-None; 2-Dotted; 3-Dashed; 4-Solid; 5-Double; 6-Groove; 7-Ridge; 8-Inset; 9-Outset; */ style:1, color:'' }, background:{ /** * Path to image file; */ image:'', color:'' }, lightbox:1 }, close:{ text:'', color:'' }, cookie:{ name: 'cnm-hiam', expires: 0, path:'/' }, flgWidth:0, flgHeight:0, /** * Floating effect: * 0-No; 1-Yes; */ flgFloating:0, /** * Display banner: * 0-Always; 1-Once Per Session; */ flgDisplay:0, /** * Open window: * 0-new; 1-same; */ flgWindow:0, /** * URL for campaign; */ url:'', /** * Position for fixed campaign: * 1 - Top; * 2 - Bottom; */ fixPosition: 1, /** * Position for corner compaign: * 1 - Top Left; * 2 - Top Right; * 3 - Bottom Left; * 4 - Bottom Right; */ cornerPositeion: 1, /** * Content for slide type */ contentSlide: '', /** * Content for fixed type */ contentFix: '', /** * Wen view banner: * 0-On Load; 1-When User Leaves the Page; */ flgAction:0, /** * View Slide type; */ viewSlide:1, /** * View Corner type; */ viewCorner:0, /** * View Fixed type; */ viewFix:0, /** * Top: px; */ slidePos: 0 }, initialize: function( options ){ this.setOptions( options ); if( this.options.flgDisplay == 1 && this._checkCookie('id') ){ return false; } this.initEvents(); this._saveCookie('id',this.options.id); }, initEvents: function(){ if( this.options.flgAction == 1){ $$('a').addEvent('click', function(e){ e.stop(); $$('a').removeEvents(); this.slideView(); this.fixedView(); this.cornerView(); }.bind(this)); } else { this.slideView(); this.fixedView(); this.cornerView(); } }, slideView: function(){ if( !this.options.viewSlide ){ return; } var body=document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0]; var lightbox=new Element('div',{id:'hiam-ligtbox'}); if( this.options.css.lightbox ){ lightbox.setStyles({ background:'#000000', opacity: '0.8', position: 'fixed', 'z-index':'999', width:'100%', height:'100%' }); lightbox.inject( body,'top' ); } var div=new Element('div',{ id:'hiam-slide-block', align:'center' }).inject( body ,'top' ); div.setStyles({ position:'absolute', width:'auto', height: 'auto', 'z-index':1000 }); var conteiner=new Element('span',{ html:this.options.contentSlide}); var content=new Element('div',{ id:'hiam-slide-content' }).inject( div ,'top' ); conteiner.inject( content ); content.setStyles({ background: this._getBackground(), color: '#000', padding: '10px', margin: '0', border: this._getBorder(), width: ( this.options.flgWidth==0 ) ? 'auto' : this.options.css.width + 'px', height: ( this.options.flgHeight==0 ) ? 'auto' : this.options.css.height + 'px', 'text-align': 'left', float: 'left' }); var close=new Element('div',{ align:'right' }).inject( content ,'top' ); close.setStyles({ padding:'0 10px 10px 0' }); var a=new Element('a',{href:'#',id:'hiam-slide-close', html: ((this.options.close.text.length>2)?this.options.close.text:'Close')+' X'}).inject( close, 'top' ); a.setStyles({ color:this.options.close.color, 'font-size':'12px' }); $$('#hiam-slide-content a').each(function(el){ el.target=(this.options.flgWindow==0)?'_blank':'_self'; },this); div.position(); if( this.options.slidePos ){ div.setStyle('top',this.options.slidePos); } var mySlide = new Fx.Slide(content,{ duration: 1200, transition: 'bounce:out' }); mySlide.hide(); if( this.options.css.lightbox ){ mySlide.show(); } else { mySlide.slideIn(); } a.addEvent('click', function( e ){ e.stop(); mySlide.hide(); div.destroy(); lightbox.destroy(); }); lightbox.addEvent('click',function(e){ e.stop(); mySlide.hide(); div.destroy(); lightbox.destroy(); }); this.initScript(conteiner); }, getPosition: function(div){ }, cornerView: function(){ if( !this.options.viewCorner ){ return; } var body=document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0]; var div=new Element('div',{ id:'hiam-flash', align:'left', class:((this.options.cornerPositeion<=2)?'top':'bottom') }).inject( body ,'top' ); div.setStyles({ position: 'fixed', width: 'auto', height: 'auto' }); switch( this.options.cornerPositeion ){ case 1: div.setStyle('left','0px'); div.setStyle('top','0px'); break; case 2: div.setStyle('right','0px'); div.setStyle('top','0px'); break; case 3: div.setStyle('left','0px'); div.setStyle('bottom','0px'); break; case 4: div.setStyle('right','0px'); div.setStyle('bottom','0px');break; } var flash = new Swiff( this.options.host+this.options.dir+'swf/corner.swf', { id: 'Hiam-Corner-Flash', container: div, width: 75, height: 75, params: { wMode: 'transparent', bgcolor: '#ffffff', quality: 'high', allowScriptAccess: 'always', movie: this.options.host+this.options.dir+'swf/corner.swf' }, vars: { corner: this.options.cornerPositeion, image: this.options.flash.image, sound: this.options.flash.sound, url: this.options.url } }); }, fixedView: function(){ if( !this.options.viewFix ){ return; } var body=document.getElementsByTagName( 'body' )[0]; var div=new Element( 'div', {id:'hiam-fix-block',html:this.options.contentFix } ).inject( body, 'top' ); div.setStyles({ position: 'fixed', 'z-index': '998', left: '0px', width: ( this.options.flgWidth==0 ) ? '100%' : this.options.css.width + 'px', height: ( this.options.flgHeight==0 ) ? 'auto' : this.options.css.height + 'px', background: this._getBackground(), border: this._getBorder(), padding: '5px', margin: '0px', 'text-align': 'left' }); if( this.options.fixPosition == 1 ){ div.setStyle('top','0'); } else { div.setStyle('bottom','0'); } var close=new Element('div',{ align:'right' }).inject( div ,'top' ); close.setStyles({ padding:'0 35px 10px 0' }); var a=new Element('a',{href:'#',id:'hiam-fix-close', html:((this.options.close.text.length>2)?this.options.close.text:'Close')+' X'}).inject( close, 'top' ); a.setStyles({ color:this.options.close.color, 'font-size': '10px' }); a.addEvent('click', function(e){e.stop(); div.destroy()}); $$('#hiam-fix-block a').each(function(el){ el.target=(this.options.flgWindow==0)?'_blank':'_self'; },this); this.initScript(div); }, initScript: function( conteiner ){ var scripts=conteiner.getChildren('script'); if(scripts==null){ return; } scripts.each(function(item){ if(item.src!=''){ var el_script=new Element('script',{type:'text/javascript',src:item.src}); document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(el_script); item.destroy(); return; } eval.call(window,item.innerHTML); }); }, _saveCookie: function( key, value ){ var cookie=new Hash.Cookie( this.options.cookie.name, {duration: this.options.cookie.expires } ); cookie.set( key , value ); cookie.save(); }, _checkCookie: function( key ){ var cookie=new Hash.Cookie( this.options.cookie.name, {duration: this.options.cookie.expires } ); var value=cookie.get( key ); return (value!=null); }, _getBackground: function(){ var str=''; if( this.options.css.background.image ){ str+='url('+this.options.css.background.image+') repeat '; } str+=this.options.css.background.color; return str; }, _getBorder: function(){ var str=''; switch(this.options.css.border.width){ case 1 : str+='thin '; break; case 2 : str+='medium '; break; case 3 : str+='thick '; break; } switch( this.options.css.border.style ){ case 1 : str+='None '; break; case 2 : str+='Dotted '; break; case 3 : str+='Dashed '; break; case 4 : str+='Solid '; break; case 5 : str+='Double '; break; case 6 : str+='Groove '; break; case 7 : str+='Ridge '; break; case 8 : str+='Inset '; break; case 9 : str+='Outset '; break; } str+=this.options.css.border.color; return str; } }); /** * Start pocess */ var start_639=function(){ new Hiam({ id: 639, host:'http://members.creativenichemanager.info', dir:'/usersdata/hiam/', flash:{ flgSound: 0, sound: '', image: '' }, css:{ width: 0, height: 0, border: { width: 2, style: 2, color:'#000000' }, background:{ image: '', color: '#33FFFF' }, lightbox:0 }, close:{ text:' ', color: ' ' }, flgFloating: 1, flgDisplay: 0, flgWindow: 0, flgSound: 0, url: 'http://a8af6iflw5x69zbljp0k7u9n8j.hop.clickbank.net/', fixPosition: 1, cornerPositeion:1, contentSlide: '
    Joke book cover
    ', contentFix: '0', flgAction: 0, viewSlide: 0, viewCorner: 1, viewFix: 0, flgWidth: 0, flgHeight: 0, slidePos: 0 }); } start_639.delay(0);} function expand_flash(){ if( $('hiam-flash').hasClass('top') ){ var width=500; var height=400; } else { var width=400; var height=500; } $('Hiam-Corner-Flash').setStyles({ width:width, height:height }); $('hiam-flash').setStyles({ width:width, height:height }); } function narrow_flash(){ var flash = new Fx.Morph('Hiam-Corner-Flash', { duration: 'short', transition: Fx.Transitions.Sine.easeOut }); var div = new Fx.Morph('hiam-flash', { duration: 'short', transition: Fx.Transitions.Sine.easeOut }); flash.start({ 'height': 75, 'width': 75 }); div.start({ 'height': 75, 'width': 75 }); }